I’m retiring from the AtoZChallenge. This is a decision based upon the fact that I’ve just looked at the topics I intended to cover in my remaining posts and realised that I’ve already covered them. I’ve accomplished what I set out to do here. I’ve talked about me and my mental health – the good times, the bad times, the things that help, the things that hinder. To post any more now would be pointless repetition.
More importantly, this decision is also based upon my desire to beat the all-or-nothing attitude that has plagued me over the last few years. I’ve lost count of the number of wagons I’ve watched disappear over the horizon because I’ve fallen off and not had the strength to chase after them and jump back on. This all-or-nothing attitude was part of the reason I put on so much weight after I had depression; I’d start a diet, lose a stone, fall off the plan, give up and then put on more weight than I’d lost. In those days, I hadn’t recovered the wherewithal to be able to let go and move on.
Leaving things unfinished like this makes me itch, but finishing something just for the sake of it, finishing something that is no longer of benefit, is not a good use of my time or energy. I need to be comfortable with putting down the unfinished. I need be comfortable with leaving things incomplete and imperfect. I need to be able to take a day off an eating plan and start afresh the next without feeling like I’ve ruined all my previous efforts. I need to be able to miss a day in my ‘photo a day’ journal without having to go back and fake a picture just so there aren’t any gaps in the calendar. I need to be able to leave an AtoZChallenge at R without having to delete the whole series because it’s incomplete.
Leaving things here is not a failure. It is a victory.
Right, now that’s out of the way, I’m off to have a good scratch …
- Time to Change
- Mind, the Mental Health Charity
- Stress, Anxiety and Depression, NHS Choices
- YoungMinds, Child and Adolescent Mental Health and Wellbeing
An explanation of my AtoZChallenge theme can be found at Me and My Mental Health – It’s Time to Talk.
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