#atozchallenge: R is for Retiring

5367644607_cd7b43840b_zI’m retiring from the AtoZChallenge. This is a decision based upon the fact that I’ve just looked at the topics I intended to cover in my remaining posts and realised that I’ve already covered them. I’ve accomplished what I set out to do here. I’ve talked about me and my mental health – the good times, the bad times, the things that help, the things that hinder. To post any more now would be pointless repetition.

More importantly, this decision is also based upon my desire to beat the all-or-nothing attitude that has plagued me over the last few years. I’ve lost count of the number of wagons I’ve watched disappear over the horizon because I’ve fallen off and not had the strength to chase after them and jump back on. This all-or-nothing attitude was part of the reason I put on so much weight after I had depression; I’d start a diet, lose a stone, fall off the plan, give up and then put on more weight than I’d lost. In those days, I hadn’t recovered the wherewithal to be able to let go and move on.

Leaving things unfinished like this makes me itch, but finishing something just for the sake of it, finishing something that is no longer of benefit, is not a good use of my time or energy. I need to be comfortable with putting down the unfinished. I need be comfortable with leaving things incomplete and imperfect. I need to be able to take a day off an eating plan and start afresh the next without feeling like I’ve ruined all my previous efforts. I need to be able to miss a day in my ‘photo a day’ journal without having to go back and fake a picture just so there aren’t any gaps in the calendar. I need to be able to leave an AtoZChallenge at R without having to delete the whole series because it’s incomplete.

Leaving things here is not a failure. It is a victory.

Right, now that’s out of the way, I’m off to have a good scratch …

Linkidinks:

An explanation of my AtoZChallenge theme can be found at Me and My Mental Health – It’s Time to Talk.

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4 thoughts on “#atozchallenge: R is for Retiring

  1. The all-or-nothing attitude is toxic. I like the way you justified leaving the challenge. The goal you set out to accomplish no longer serves its purpose. It seems silly to put energy into something that no longer benefits you or anyone else just for the sake of saying I’m finished.
    I can relate to your diet history. I do the same thing. I mess up and then give up and it’s so hard to start over. My husband said to me if I don’t like starting over, stop quitting. Of course, I wanted to smack him, but he’s right. A mistake doesn’t mean I have to throw in the towel. I’d get a lot further if I accepted my slip up and kept going.

    1. Thank you. πŸ™‚ I’ve been very relaxed diet-wise over the Easter Holidays, but it’s back to routine tomorrow, so I’m going to get back on my plan too. I’ve lost 3 stone since last September. If I’ve put on a few pounds recently that doesn’t mean I have to throw in the towel. I can just pick up and carry on. Right?! πŸ™‚

  2. Well, that’s a different take on R. But I know what you mean. Sometimes you have to do what’s right for you. For me, I’m sticking with it just to prove to myself that I can. And that means doing short posts and getting a little behind but catching back up quickly and moving on. As long as you are growing, do what works for you.

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